Dear, Best Friend

Dear, Best friend

I have made peace with the fact that you are never coming back. I have accepted that you are at a far away place and it is impossible, to contact, to share my feelings with you.

I am sorry that I was mad at you for a really long time and it is unacceptable to be mad at your best friend for FOUR long years. In my defense, you were not here to kick my butt and explain how friendship works. You did not tell me, it’s stupid to be mad at your best friend like you always used to do.

Yes, I visited your room back home without losing it. It was calming as ever and your photographs still look the coolest. I am learning to be better, from choking on your name and holding breath whenever your topic arised, I have started talking about you in a tone where I am not angry anymore. I tell people about you and as expected, they love you more than they love me.

I have stopped searching for you, no, I don’t look out for catching a glimpse of you. But that does not mean I have stopped loving you. Yes, I still miss you and I always will. Pardon me, I was miserable for so long. I was weighed down by so many emotions that I forgot about our “staying happy in every situation pact”.

A vacuum will always be there in my heart and I promise to cherish it forever. I often look above in your direction and think about the possible things you would be doing there. Do you still cook? Do you still make those silly faces? Do you still ride the bicycle like it’s a rocket? Do you still roll your eyes when I am about to do something stupid? I do not know answers to any of these questions. But, I do know one thing that you are at a happy place.

I know that I am not going to get any reply when I share my insecurities, my achievements, my joys and sorrows. But it makes me happy that I keep you updated even if I am mad at you. Plus, it is not difficult to spot you in the glorious sky, you shine and twinkle the most. Bubbly personalities tend to have these traits.

I know that I will sound cliché and you will laugh your ass off, but I have enough memories to last forever.

Stay happy always and continue being as amazing as you were here.These words were long due but well, better late than never.

I love you. Rest In Peace.

 

PS Cheers to the most awesome person ever. I have finally forgiven myself for being angry at her. Yes, I miss her a lot but that’s life, there will be depressing days. You just have to live with it.

 

 

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13 thoughts on “Dear, Best Friend

  1. Yvonne

    Time lessens pain but can never fill the void left when someone we love is no longer there. Will we always cry? Maybe we will but not as much as before. It hurts and pain causes tears so it is a natural occurrence . It’s also natural to be angry. The progression of grief must include all those things we would rather not feel. You know I lost my best friend too because we spoke of it before. The one thing I learned is to live each day as if it is your last. Love and be sure those you love know. Never let a day pass without saying,”I love you.” It’s a regret easily avoided. That being said , I love you my dear friend and I am happy you are finally able to put your anger aside. Now the healing begins💕❤️💕

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautifully sad, post. I’m sorry for loss but I’m happy that for a period of time you had someone who’s absence affects you so much. It means they truly mattered to you. Thank you for sharing. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Nostalgia: Beach | What's (in) the picture?

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