The Realisation Of Being In Love

It was a Thursday.

The very rainy Thursday of August.

When it was bright and sunny, just moments before we stepped out of your house, for a beautifully planned date. I really love the rain but I hated it at that particular moment. And when you came up with the idea of a stay-at-home date, I actually thought you were mocking me.

There was something special about that Thursday and I could feel it in my gut.

The fondness behind your exasperated eyes when you asked me to go and change into something comfy, only to make me stay away from the kitchen, which I almost burned down while trying to help you cook pasta for us.

When we held our gaze until the time I had goosebumps all over my body and you comically cleared your throat, trying to bring my attention to the next part of our stay-at-home date. It’s beyond my understanding, how you could, sigh, kiss my head and mumble, “What am I gonna do with you?”, at the same time when I shifted to your lap for the bear cuddle, because all those goosebumps made me feel very chilly.

I have a very fond memory of how you got all embarrassed when I whispered, “What about the next part of the date?” into your ear. It was so adorable seeing you bickering about who lost track of the time.

When we were dancing and you held me like I was some precious jewel. The subtle curve of your lips made my insides all mushy and your sparkling eyes made it difficult to look away, again summoning the goosebumps.

When I was lying on your chest, making drawings with my index finger and you were reading my favourite book to me. The one which I have read a million times and still feels new when you read it to me, I tried to concentrate on the words but your heartbeats and deep voice made it impossible and your captivating scent was a cherry on the top. When the rumbling thunderclap startled me, bringing me back from my dreamy haze while knocking your chin off with my head, in the process. I winced, you laughed, I made face and you kissed the pain away, how very juvenile yet charming of you!

When another round of thunder and lightning occurred, you instinctively held me a bit closer than it was physically possible and your eyes murmured a lot of unsaid promises. When you looked so deep into my eyes that I did not know how to catch up with you. When you told me that you were in love with me, for the first time and all I could do was look at you.

Because those billions of butterflies fluttering in my stomach turned into a mushy puddle, making it impossible to move in any way. So, I controlled my accelerating heart and kissed you with everything I had, a kind of kiss where you pour yourself completely to convey what you can’t say with your words.

That’s when I realised I had fallen deeply in love with you.

That’s when I said I love you for the first time.
To you. To anyone.

 

Thank you for reading.
-A

Photo by Inna Lesyk