The Pleas Of A Guarded Heart

You told me you love me, a million times.
I kept searching for reasons to not believe you, I could not find one.

Do I love you?
I am not sure.
Do you love me?
I don’t want to admit that I am sure!

I’m paranoid, I’m uncertain but I care a lot about you. Then why am I holding back? Why am I fighting it? Why am I making it so difficult!?

Yes, I have walls around me.
Yes, I am guarding myself.
Yes, I have a tendency to doubt everything.

It’s the only way I can ensure my sanity, keep my nerves from falling all over the place. I am just looking out for myself, can you blame me?

Sometimes it’s not just about how much love you have for me, sometimes it’s about the repetitive reassurances. I fancy you, a lot but I am afraid. I am afraid of falling into the same pattern, all over again. I’m afraid of losing a piece of my soul. I just need my time to be sure.

I just want to be sure of whether what we have is worth risking my heart. I am waiting for my gut to ask me to drop all the walls. I promise I respect your emotions. No, I’m not toying with you, it has always been genuine. I read your sincerity in your kisses, I feel your love in your touches. But I am a victim of always wearing my heart on my sleeves. I’m trying. I promise, I am.

I want to tell you everything, but not right now. My insecurities get the best of me.
So, honey, just be patient with me. Keep loving me the way you do, keep kissing me like you mean it, continue being my shelter!

Read his side of story here.