After All These Years, Why Now?

If not in a decade, then, why now?
I asked to no one in particular when your car pulled over in front of my house.

You can do it, you can do it!
I chanted in my head when you knocked on my door.
I opened the door to flash a fake smile,
Quite similar to what you have been doing, standing there for a while.

The deafening silence,
Everything full of pretense.
I didn’t know we could be so awkward, too!
The chance to reconnect, I was definitely not looking forward to.

Between fancy restaurants and fine dining, we are pretending to be okay.
But we are not,
And we will never be, again!

Now, we are sitting at our table, making small talks like we are just a bunch of regular people.
But we are not,
And we will never be, again!

I look around and everyone is having fun,
Everyone but us.
Our table is fogged with the palpable tension,
Tension so thick that a knife could come handy.

The entire situation is a mess,
Just like we are,
Just like our superficial talks!

We search for safe topics to talk about like our life depends on it,
Our efforts of killing the awkward silence,
Our fake laughter,
But who are we fooling?

The only comfortable noise is the occasional clutter of our cutlery.
Nothing is right, I know you can feel it, too.
I noticed you looking when you think I was not.

From being joint from the hip all the time, we drifted apart into a whole new dimension where we barely acknowledge each other

Now we are sitting across this table but we are miles apart.
We think touching vague topics which we don’t even care about is going to fill the gap!
But ten years is a really long time and a lunch is not going to do anything to help it.

My head just keeps asking why now?
Now when I have a wonderful life,
When I am finally not miserable,
When I have finally stopped caring if you are in my life or not!

But we just sit silently and keep toying with the food, just like we are toying with our hearts.

I just want you to answer my silent question, very audible in my pleading eyes, “After all these years, why now?”

Have you ever grown apart from somebody you could never imagine? In my case, that somebody came back to apparently mend the difference *eyeroll* Is it weird that I don’t want to reconnect?

Everyday Inspiration: Day 10

“Let the scene write itself”